The Blue Devils return to the Cameron hardwood on Super Sunday, trying to keep pace with the surging Seminoids and the clueless Tools in a fairly exciting three-team race for the ACC regular season crown. On tap? Why, it's the Hurryclowns of Coral Gables, Miami-Dade County, Florida, who have been doing a few things right lately and, one suspects, would like to keep that going.

Wondering if Duke's 86th-ranked defense will be up to the task? Excited for a solid warmup to the "Big Game"? Tired of hearing oblique references to said "Big Game," which are increasingly beginning to sound like adults straining euphemistically to refer to sensitive bodily functions in the presence of a precocious toddler? Yes, we've got it all covered within. Won't you glance over the material for a few seconds? Thanks.

So buy a DVD of Swofford spellbinding his audience at the ACC's "winter meetings" (huh?), mourn the impending death of Maryland, College Park's life-sustaining rivalry with the Blue Devils, don't even think about giving Frank Haith a contract extension in Columbia and . . . read on:

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Ahhhh, it's time for another refreshing Personal Super Bowl Against Duke ("PSBAD") edition! ENTER! The underachieving Duke team with chemistry so bad it doesn't know its H2O from its NaCl. ENTER! The thugball-deploying homestanding "opponent" with a pitiful record in the ACC, looking to ensure its annual shot at making the NIT and getting all loud about why it always fails (hilariously) to make the NCAAs. The stage is set, folks!

And in order to prevent a second straight loss in Blacksburg, Virginia, Duke must make more than a few adjustments. The question is: will they? Stay tuned! And wasn't this despicable Vee-Pee program supposed to be looking into opportunities to join the SEC or the WCC or the Intergalactic Mars Division or something? Guess that didn't pan out. So declare yourself certifiably insane, fail to make the NCAAs yet again, yell about Duke's defense like a real Donnie Downer and . . . read on:

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Oh, those of you who frequent this joint just know how much we at Dukies.com looooooove each and every entry in THIS great series, particularly when we come out of it with a stupid, headshaking loss, which happened as recently as last season. Still, we heroically dive into the numbers for ya and actually churn out a huge edition, which means that we really hope the Blue Devils don't choke away their second straight at home. This time, the opponent cannot be credited.

Ever wondered what the heck a Bootsy is? Want to catch up on heaven-sent gifts and, uh, Sir'Dominics? You, sir or madam, Dominic or otherwise, have come to the right place. We even took a few shots at Bristol for you. So lock down the defense, Marcus all Hattens, prevent the Bootsy at whatever the cost and . . . read on:

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Duke hits the road to face the Pennzoil NASCAR team in the beautiful environs of Industrial Park, Maryland. There's no particular reason to expect a Duke win except that Scaryland is terrible, but . . . well, we'll see. Quinn Cook is probably out for this one, which is really bad news. Luckily, Duke point guards never get hurt or anything.

Doubtless you will want to see what fun stuff we have cooked up for Duke's visit to the "opener" of Sweaty Court, within, so . . . read on:

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Yo. I'm traveling, and the thought of FSU frightens me so much that . . . wait. Where are my lowest-ranking Dukies.com minions? They came off the court with me, right? No?? Oh, well. They'll catch up.

I sit in, at the same time, the City and County of Philadelphia, and am probably too tired to post anything about the contest with Florida State. That's where you, the commenters, come in. Let's hear what you have to say before I come back on regular patrol with a vengeance next week.

Please add your thoughts within.

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The conference insists that Duke go on the road again, and not to a place where half the attendees will be wearing Duke gear, either. So, how's Clemson doing this season? Well, using the transitive property of basketball and recent results, they have a 53-point win in their near future. Funny how that theorem seems to have a few "holes" in it.

Anyhoo, I have zero faith in Duke's abilities away from the friendly confines or the substitute friendly confines, and I'm not clear why this game ended up scheduled against the Giants and the Packers, but maybe the Blue Devils will surprise us with a win against a pretty decent team with a smart coach.

So hit the locker room early to beat that Tallahassee traffic, find out the results of our online Neeba fishing expedition, don't mind the orange and purple people yelling at you and . . . read on:

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Duke returns home for just its eighth home contest of the season, which is weird, considering that we haven't played many actual road games either. In fact, this is the first really significant home contest of the season, and the students are back from break, so a strong showing of support for this team would be nice. Odd, odd scheduling.

Tonight's visitors are on a nice little win streak, having won twelve in a row this season, and your selection of this site as part of your daily work evasion efforts suggests that you probably know a little about some of the strings that Duke is riding. (Huh?)

So what's going to give? Virginia, we hope, so throw out a few parables, analyze a stat or two, get to the bottom of that VW ad with the "Rocket Man" lyrics and . . . read on:

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Hey, Duke's back on the court for the first time since playing Pennsylvania. No, not since playing *in* Pennsylvania, unless you recognized those pod persons donning Blue Devil colors Wednesday evening and purporting to be Duke ballers. Still fresh from that utterly humiliating defeat, and amid freshly obvious signs that this team does not play well with others - - or itself - - it's time to open conference play against net-scorching Georgia Tech, who are renting the home of the Atlanta Hawks for a few games this season while they playact at building a new arena.

Ready? Yeah, we could have used a week off ourselves, but no luck, so grit your teeth and . . . read on:

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Yeah, we're heading back to the Two Dukies masthead, and while you attempt to contain your excitement, Iowa caucus voters and Duke SIO minions are counting the number of games the Blue Devils have played in X amount of days again.

We get it, and we can count. What are we supposed to do with this information? Will this be the epitaph of the season, and will Duke hang a banner for it? (NCCH would.) "37 games played in 137 days" or some nonsense. Just STOP already.

Anyway, it's time for a journ to the Core FU Walkovahya WTF Center, which means another faux road game trip to Philadelphia. Hopefully the Blue Devils will enjoy the room service and special soap a bit more than they luxuriated in the amenities of Columbus, named for the 15th-century explorer who discovered bedbugs.

Look, we have limited time on our hands and so might you, so let's get this show on the "road" and . . . read on:

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Making up for playing 176 games in two days earlier this season, Duke returns to the Cameron hardwood for only its third game in seventeen weeks. Just kidding - - but I love how the Duke game notes give us the number of games Duke has played and not played in various periods of time, but can't bother even to supply any information on the Western Michigan probable starters. Sigh.

Anyway, let's discuss within as game action progresses, or not, as you like.

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Duke returns from a nice break and fits in a game before Christmas, although they probably shouldn't have bothered against the 2-9 Spartans.

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Tired of these noon Eastern time starts? So are we. In any case, Duke tips off versus the Huskies of Seattle from the Garden. Discuss within; we have provided a brief preview. Yes, really.

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Duke returns to the Cameron hardwood and takes on the Rams of Colorado State, out of the Mountain West. Discuss within as needed or desired.

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