TWO DUKIES PICK THE ACC
Volume X, Number III – November 16, 2006
Welcome to this edition of the tenth (it's crossed the line from generating wan smiles to causing outright grimaces of pain), yes, we said tenth, season of Two Dukies Pick the ACC. Rob and Matt invite you to sit back, wonder if this was before or after Dubya's speech - - and check out that caption for some weirdness - - pull a real rocket right out of your ass, and watch as we do much the same below. You know, it's never boring, except when, well, it is.
The TWO DUKIES name and material are, for some absurd reason, affiliated with http://www.dukies.com, and for even more preposterous purposes, copyright 2006-2007 Rigel Enterprises, Ltd. All rights reserved, including the right to offend as we see fit.
Matt's comments in blue.
Rob Mac K's selection in green.
NORTH CAROLINA-GREENSBORO (0-2, 0-0 Southern North) @ #10 DUKE (2-0, 0-0)
First, DirecTV and ESPN. As this council is aware, half the country with dishes got hosed out of all but the last 5:41 of clock of the first half on Monday night because of some technical glitch between ESPN and DirecTV. Cable users were just fine. This was a nice treat, especially since I had been looking forward to the game all day (similarly, tonight I was supposed to be at Cameron, and now won't be, but never mind my bad attitude); even more gratifying was the first DirecTV customer service rep I got on the line, who descended from the mountains to lecture me about the "wars" between cable providers and satellite providers as to what is and isn't blacked out. Um, dude? You don't know what you're talking about. Plenty of good seats still available down there in Durham, right?
War Guy's supervisor finally realized it was a glitch, and from there, enough monkeys were marshaled into action to get us the last 25 minutes of on-court time. We even got ESPN's halftime show. Hey, Digger, did Notre Dame still lose? Anyway, for tonight's contest, ESPN and DirecTV will be blindfolding and sensory-depriving randomly selected attendees to simulate the blackout experience.
Next, the Tools. They're at it again! Yes, their unobstructed run to a mortal lock national championship hit a bump or two on Wednesday, as they followed up a cakelike matchup with Pious Pancreas (to whom they still gave up a truckload of points) by battling Winthrop, who held an eight-point halftime advantage in the DeadDome before folding at the end and losing by seven. Luckily, no huge statistical anomalies present themselves in the box score, other than the fact that Ty Lawson is unable to break serial killer resembler Robert John Frasor's hold on the starting lineup despite being the next coming of . . . Ron Curry, or something.
Anyhoo, can you imagine the reaction at ToolNation or IdiotCentral if Duke played an opponent that was awarded one free throw in a game - - which did not come on a shooting foul? Refs would be suspended. Refs would be phasered out of existence. Talking Jesus dolls would be sold to Toys for Tots. Steve Lavin would light his overgelled hair on fire on air.
Yes, one free throw. No shooting fouls. The entire way. Tool partisans are very busy today claiming that the Eagles were doing nothing but gunning threes, but Winthrop actually took over 30 shots inside the arc. Still, no fouls. DAMN, they're good over there on the Hill! Everyone else is toast.
Duke had a pitiful first half on Monday night, and was probably behind the partial television blackout. Once ESPN revealed that it had not hired Brad Nessler and Jimmy Dykes to clean the Crow's Nest, Duke woke up, and increased the level of its already terrific defense. GSU collected just 16 points in the second half, which may be some sort of Cameron record. (Sorry for not knowing - - our factcheckers are on a Southwest Airlines flight right now, somewhere over Jackson, Mississippi, engaging in a little sub-blanket hoo-ah before being carted away for peeing on the USA Patriot Act.)
As Al White sagely commented in an e-mail of last evening, the freshmen are so much better than Dockery and Melchionni that, combined with the studly play of DeMarcus Nelson (who just needs an uptick in his free throw shooting to really get going) and the surprising skills of Dave McClure, who looks great, the team actually isn't missing Redick and Williams all that much yet - - particularly when you add in the intangible factor of forcing other teams to defend multiple weapons, not just two.
In K We Trusters and other sacrilege-crying types will probably want to check out here and/or skip ahead to that prediction, but right now, the weak link on the team is Paulus. His offense has never been that great, Scheyer and McRoberts make a more than adequate substitute for his court vision, and when he's not on the floor, the defense automatically improves. Hopefully, Greg will step it up as his foot continue to heal, because if he gets better, particularly on defense, then this team will have a chance to be really quite good. Lance, Gerald, Jon and Brian (who was presumably a little banged up on Monday) are so refreshing, aren't they?
UNC-Greensboro, whose sportsinfominions waste space in their media notes by begging reporters to drop the hyphen in the school's name, is pretty much the same team that Duke faced last year in that tough-as-nails road test at the Greensboro Coliseum. Kyle Hines is the big threat, and he had a huge game against Marshall in a game that the Spartans should have won; they've also lost to Penn State.
It would be odd indeed for Duke to lose to UNC----------------G at home. Now, young teams do some crazy things - - but nothing that crazy. This should be an easy win as Duke gets ready for the winner of the "Palo Alto Regional" in Kansas City next Monday.
Duke 89, North Carolina-Greensboro 59.
Duke 85, North Carolina-Greensboro 57.
Last Edition: Rob 1-0 (1.000) Matt 1-0 (1.000) Guests 0-0 (0.000) This Season: Rob 2-0 (1.000) Matt 2-0 (1.000) Guests 0-0 (0.000) TD in Guest Editions 0-0 (0.000)