TWO DUKIES PICK THE ACC

Volume VIII, Number L - March 29, 2005

Welcome to this edition of the eighth (yes, eighth - - it's gotten absolutely ridiculous now and can almost be measured in geologic time) season of Two Dukies Pick the ACC. Rob and Matt invite you to sit back, do "Yale" with "Chloe," don't wonder or care for a second whether Britney Spears is pregnant, cheer the fact that Pat Croce is moving out, and defy our wishes by reading every last word of the pap below. We dare ya.

The TWO DUKIES name and material are, for some outrageous reason, affiliated with http://www.dukies.com, and for even more abstruse motivations, copyright 2005 Rigel Enterprises, Ltd. All rights reserved, sort of like a table at an inexplicably popular trend restaurant with obnoxious servers and tiny portions.

Matt's comments in blue.
Rob Mac K's pick in green.

SOUTH CAROLINA (18-13, 7-9 SEC East) v. MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK (19-12, 7-9)

Oh, sheesh! I didn't think one guy could cause a Team Bus Game, but Dave Odom is the man. This contest has no possible good outcome except for the fact that one of the teams will lose. If it's the 'Cocks - - my master owned these lands and I have been ordered to drive off the Columbia squatters. They have consented to go, so now I call them enemies no longer. (If anyone recognizes this slightly altered movie quote - - say the line with a French accent if it helps - - e-mail me at matt[at]dukies.com, because you either need help or are really cool; we'll sort it out.) Unfortunately, however, I'm forced to pick two Maryland games no matter what thanks to the third-place affair. [On edit, the third-place game has been eliminated. Silly me. I'll get out of the kiddie pool.] However, Sweaty is clearly on a mission to prove that he can win the NIT. And frankly, we believe him. I also believe that the Twerps' not-NCAA run rather convincingly demonstrates what a horrible coaching job he did this season. Now that the players are just having fun and no longer listening to him, they're showing that they can beat teams that also didn't make the NCAA Tournament.

It was really interesting that, after Duke lost on Friday night, few, if any, Twerp woofers showed up on TDD's message boards. We guess that not making the NCAAs sort of takes the air out of your tires, or the perspiration out of your pores, or something. Anyway.

Now that Duke has indeed lost, with a TOTAL lack of passing ability as the primary reason (and I'll say it again - - given this, that 27-6 record was absolutely incredible), it's time to hearken back to that fun Kentucky-South Carolina game many weeks ago, when I was frankly amazed at all of the passing and successful ball movement that was conducted on offense by both teams, not to mention the athleticism, even though this was a very low-scoring affair. Duke, by contrast, had more of an Association-style offense - -deliberate, plodding, and methodical, but also somewhat predictable. And Krzyzewski got every erg out of it that he could; he couldn't turn Daniel Ewing into a point guard, or teach some of the other players (Nelson, SWilliams, Randolph) the passing skills they so desperately needed, not in the course of one season. Athleticism, of course, can't be taught either. If you've been paying attention to Duke's recruiting, root hard for prep senior Geoff McDermott, a very, very skilled and athletic young man who just visited Duke's campus, to sign with the Blue Devils. The visit went well, and we need his services.

So, this game is broadcast on ESPN, as are the McDonald's game on Wednesday (Paulus, McRoberts, and Boateng will all be on the East squad) and the NIT Championship on Thursday. This is exciting, because while you have spent the last two weekends wondering why Gum-ball and Clark Kellogg were getting ready to flash people (or just each other - - gnarly!) in the parking lot of a drive-in, and generally just enjoying the fact that Can't Broadcast Sports allows more than three companies to purchase advertising - - absolutely love the "taste loss" ads, by the way; props to another great campaign from Miller's ad agency - - now, now, NOW you will remember what makes watching basketball on ESPN so great.

Didn't quite understand how Sarah and Mr. Limpnoodle were going to transform their walk across a rocky frigging stream into "the right moment"? No problem - - you'll get the chance to figure that out without any TiVoing required. I just want to know what will fill the space of those "Tilt" promos, since that ridiculous series' season (but, unfortunately, not necessarily its life) has now ended. By the way, you got that the bald dude from "The Wire" cut a deal to allow him five minutes in a bathroom (ahem) with The Matador, right? And that playing some sort of card game with the latter gentleman can land bland-looking lead characters "in a shallow grave in the desert"? Just checking - - there's no reason to expect you to have retained any of this after 1,000 viewings.

Look, isn't not having the Apostle John Gilchrist, who is so, so clearly juking it and making sure he doesn't get ACTUALLY injured before the Association Draft (what a tool) going to catch up with these guys at some point? I mean, the chemistry is probably a thousand times better without that ass on the court, but . . . Sterling Bedwetter bringing it up? Uh; this is still the ACC, right? Wow. Meanwhile, let's hope that Scooter misses a few free throws so he doesn't pass J.J. in the ACC and national standings in the category.

I could say more, but why? I think the bell is tolling, and it might even be glistening with a soupcon of perspiration. I mean, really. Enough already.

South Carolina 78, Maryland, College Park 73.

South Carolina 74, Maryland, College Park 70.

 Last Edition: Rob 1-0 (1.000) Matt 1-0 (1.000) Guest 0-0 (0.000) This Season: Rob 94-33 (0.740) Matt 94-33 (0.740) Guests 44-23 (0.657) TD in Guest Editions: 100-36 (0.735)